Sunday, 11 November 2012

The glam nails I'm hanging onto


I had my nails painted for only the second time in my life while I was in India.

The first time was for our wedding- clear varnish, short nails.  This time, in a concrete school room by the night-time glow of a TV surrounded by children of all ages, I was offered a choice of violent pea green or pearl pink.  Hmmm….

“Nice hands, Miss!” the girls enthused as they expertly applied two pink coats and then a follow-up layer of glitter.  

Beautiful liars.  My nails are comprehensively nibbled, three fingers broken playing sport.  I showed them a couple of scars- a dog food can, a pen knife and a wine glass.  They could hardly get enough of the stories.

We sat together for an hour and watched “Indian Idol- India vs Pakistan.”  Now there’s a competition… We segued into the girls’ favourite soap opera in Hindi and they pointed out the hot ‘hero boy’.  I’d already spotted him, actually.  They giggled a lot.  I could’ve been anywhere.

 The following morning, Jem and Brydie were gobsmacked by my transformation.

“But you NEVER let us paint your nails!”

Sheepish, I put my hands back into my pockets and suggested they have theirs done that afternoon.

These are the moments that sit in my memory alongside kilometre after kilometre of absolutely bewildering human need.  Forehead pressed to the window of our bus, a world of deprivation slides by:  children and skeletal dogs, men rocking on their haunches by the side of the road, pitiful dwellings held together with string and bags and mud and branches. Everywhere, the discarded bits and pieces of peoples lives left behind after every last item has been picked over for something that can be re-used or sold for scrap.  In many places the streets bleed garbage and we breathe thick smog.

The sheer scope and scale of need in this country is mind numbing.  The reality here is that millions of men, women and children will be born into poverty and die the same way.  They will expect nothing more.  And they will get it.

When I think about our paltry efforts to assist- a school here, a medical clinic there, emergency relief somewhere else- the enormity of the need beside the tininess of our giving seems laughable.    The magnitude of this need appears to dwarf every giving program, every Government intervention and every NGO on the planet.  I am sick with the despair of it.

And yet to come away dwarfed and defeated by the need is to come away with the memory of my unexpectedly transformed nails relegated to  memory’s garbage along with so much else in India.  Because the children in Durgapur who so carefully painted those nails will have a different future from their parents.   Once considered ‘Untouchable’, unable to access even the most basic of schooling or employment, these children are attending school alongside their higher caste neighbours.  The girls are likely to marry later in life and will be healthier and less likely to die early from pregnancy-related complications- the leading cause of death among girls aged 15-24 in the developing world.  Some will go on to university.  Many will find basic jobs and work their way into homes with electricity, water, an indoor toilet.  Some will go far further. 

On the huge tide of human need, these little life rafts are well worth celebrating.

Every piece of research we have on giving indicates that people will give to things they believe they can change.  “Overcoming poverty in India”, whole-scale, is not one of those things.  But connecting with one life- one community- and providing education or health care that can make the difference between grinding poverty and actually getting by- well, that’s a different story.

It’s one of the main reasons people sponsor children. Child Sponsorship provides people with a tangible sense that they have broken the overwhelming problem of poverty down to a manageable size.  On the one hand it’s an illusion- on the other, how else can we respond other than to concentrate on the personal?  Every ocean is made up of a million drops.  Every person matters. 

But there’s a major problem with traditional Child Sponsorship programs. When only individual children are singled out to receive funding, others in the community are left behind.  We met children in the Hostel in Durgapur- not part of the UnitingWorld programs we were visiting- who are the recipients of Child Sponsorship from Churches in the US; they receive extra tuition, uniforms and all the benefits of on-site living.  Their friends and relatives remain stuck in slum communities just down the road.  There’s no widespread benefit from the Sponsorship and as a result, life only changes for the randomly privileged few. 

I didn’t ask directly how the children felt about this.  But when we arrived they had just returned from a brief holiday with their families and it was clear that leaving their homes- and for some, leaving close friends- to return to the Hostel was a bittersweet experience. 

Not all Sponsorship programs work this way.  Child Centered Community Development, funded by Child Sponsorship, is a different kettle of fish altogether.  This model retains the value of personalised relationships between the donor and the children because Child Ambassadors are chosen from each community and matched with donors, who keep photographs and profiles of the child and community to which they belong.  But all Sponsorship money is used to further child centered development in the entire community, for all children.  The child ambassadors maintain relationships with donors, writing letters to update them on progress being made for children in the whole community.  It’s a much fairer way to do Child Sponsorship and it’s probably the best of both worlds because it keeps the personal connection while maintaining good development principles in the communities themselves. 

My nail glam was all but gone within 48 hours- scraped and scratched off by the rigours of travel.  But even now, almost two weeks later, whenever I bite my nails I can taste the bitter chemical tang of the polish.  And that’s not all.  Whenever my mind begins to flash through the vast landscape of need we wandered in our short stay in India, as it’s prone to do whenever my heart sinks and my mind darkens, I gently pull myself back to those moments:  the concentration of my beauty therapists, Jem and Brydie dancing with the children, Doug playing cricket, Arjun patiently teaching me his name and throwing his arm around Raoul for yet another photo, Lata quietly beckoning me to follow her through the crowded lane to the very end of the slum where she showed me, proudly, her one room home. 

Individual moments.  Individual people.

Life changes because of moments like these.  I can’t change the world.  But I’m sure as hell not going to turn away from it because the need is so great that I simply can’t face it.   Driving through Agra I listened to my favourite Jimmy Little album “Resonate” and once again these words lodge in my chest:

“We cannot do great things, only small things with great love.”

Here’s some small things to consider:
1.     If you’re part of a family of 4 earning a total family income of $80,000 after tax, you’re in the top 4.8% of income earners in the world, earning 18 times more than the average person.  If you gave away 10% of that income, you’d still be earning 16 times more than the average person.  Is there any chance you can give regularly, or increase your giving, to a program that will change the living conditions of someone else?  Check out http://www.givingwhatwecan.org/why-give/how-rich-you-are for more stats on giving.
2.     To find out about the program we just visited and to consider giving to it, check it out here. http://www.unitingworld.org.au/programs/relief-and-development/right-to-learn/
3.     If you sponsor a child, PLEASE make sure it’s through an Agency that does Child Centered Community Development and benefits whole communities not just individual children.  I can recommend this  https://www.baptistworldaid.org.au/what-we-do/child-sponsorship/

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